Saving Grace (Safe Havens) Read online

  He moved his hands to her waist and lifted her until his mouth could reach her breast. Through the thin, wet material covering it, he drew her nipple into his mouth.

  “Oh, God.” She cradled Matthew’s head against her breast, arching into him and splaying her fingers through his hair.

  As he smiled and shifted his attention to her other breast, his fingers slipped up between them to tug at the ribbons holding her camisole together. They gave little resistance, and he pulled his lips away long enough to part the garment, reaching in and cupping each of her breasts in his hands.

  She tightened her legs around his hips as he slowly rose to his knees, holding her hard against him before he laid her back on the moss. He settled himself between her thighs.

  “I want to be inside you.” He rocked against her.

  A tear spilled from the corner of her eye.

  He kissed it away. “What’s wrong?”

  Instead of giving him words, she led him back into a heated kiss.

  Matthew ended the intoxicating kiss, crouched back and stared down at her. The woman was a work of art. The face of an angel. Full breasts. A slim waist. He reached for the front of her pants.

  Her hands covered his. “I need… I should….”

  Leaning in, he kissed her, hard and quick. “What is it?”

  Her gaze shifted as if she was afraid to look him in the eye. “I’ve never been with a man. I want you to be my first.”

  Sobering sanity came back with a flood of alarm. He’d expected that she was a virgin, but hearing it spill from her lips reminded him of all it could cost her if he took her as his lover.

  What in the hell had he been thinking?

  Victoria deserved so much more than a dirt poor cowboy for a mate. He was about to rob her of the most important gift she would give a husband.

  Pushing himself away, he scrambled to his feet to find her camisole. He picked it up and held it out to her as he grabbed his own discarded shirt.

  “Matthew? I–I don’t–I don’t understand.” She was on her feet, facing him with her armed crossed as trembling hands covered her breasts.

  “Get dressed.” The order came out much harsher than he’d meant, but he was having a hard time regaining any kind of self-control. He had to get away from her. Quickly.

  She clutched her camisole to her chest. “I–I don’t understand. You said you wanted—”

  “Get dressed. Now. Before I do something I’ll regret.”

  “Something you’ll—” The hurt he’d seen in her eyes was slowly replaced with rage.

  He turned his back and donned his shirt, taking a few deep breaths and trying to still the staccato rhythm of his heart. When he finally found the strength to turn back around, he was greeted by a stinging slap across his cheek.

  He deserved far worse.

  “I’m not some toy you can play with and then discard. I thought you cared for me.”

  “I do!”

  She took a hesitant step back. “Then why?”

  Because if I make love to you, I’ll never let you go.

  She would never understand that this was for her own good. He’d have to push her away with a lie. “Because I don’t want to get married with a shotgun aimed at my back.”

  Her gasp echoed through the clearing. “I hate you, Matthew Riley.”

  A myriad of apologies tried to force their way through his lips. He kept his jaw clenched shut, reminding himself he was doing this for her, that she would regret giving him her chastity when he had nothing to offer in return.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Adam closed the stall gate and spun at the sound of a familiar sharp whistle.

  Victoria and Matthew were back and perhaps had sorted through some of the tension and finally acknowledged their attraction.

  Latching the gate, he went out to greet them.

  He was probably a bad father to allow his unmarried daughter to head out on the trail alone with a man, especially since they’d been gone a few nights. Victoria had always played by her own rules. No one in his family had ever given a care about being anything other than who they were—gossip be damned.

  His daughter had been raised to ride like a boy and work like a boy, even if she was a pretty girl. She’d been every bit as rambunctious as Jake and Ty, and the three of them found themselves in a peck of trouble from time to time. She might be beautiful and smart, but there was nothing fragile about her. There’d been no need to coddle or chaperone her. In fact, making her strong in a land that could break the weak seemed more important than turning her into a prissy, prim girl who couldn’t take care of herself.

  Adam had been dirt poor when he and Clara married and came to Montana with nothing more than a grant for several acres and their hopes and dreams. By the time Victoria came along, they’d hewn out a two-room cabin, living modestly when he discovered how much money could be made in the cattle business. They’d invested their profits in more animals, knowing if the gamble paid off their family wouldn’t have to struggle anymore. As much as they’d wanted more children, the Lord had never seen fit to bless them with another.

  Victoria worked alongside her parents, never complaining and always rising to any challenge. Yet now that he was wealthier than he’d ever dreamed, his daughter was paying a high price. The many men who gave her attention saw her as a means to a fortune rather than the woman she was. They weren’t worthy of her, and she’d always been smart enough to turn them away.

  She was lonely, and he didn’t know how to fix things for her. An answer to his prayers—the right man—had ridden into her life.

  A shame that the younger generation couldn’t see things with the wisdom of age. Matthew and Victoria were perfectly matched, and the sparks flew as though metal struck flint every time they were together. After they’d had a few days of privacy—working side by side as Adam and Clara had early in their relationship—perhaps they’d seen through their stubborn pride and discovered how much they belonged together.

  Matthew was a gentleman, and if he’d taken Victoria to his bed, he would marry her.

  “Daddy!” Victoria herded the last of the new horses into the largest corral. “What do you think of the stock?”

  Adam looked them over and nodded. “Mighty fine, princess.”

  Matthew had tied his stallion to the hitching post and was closing the gate to the corral. “They’ll give you some fine colts and fillies, especially if you cross them with that big black stallion of yours.”

  “Might just pair a few of them with yours,” Adam replied. “Sin’s a nice looking animal. Might throw some good stock—maybe with Victoria’s Cleo.”

  No other words were spoken, and the silence sure didn’t bode well. He shifted his gaze from Victoria to Matthew and saw the strain.

  Things hadn’t gone as well on the trail as he’d hoped.

  She dismounted and led her mare toward the barn. Every step she took, a few flakes of dried mud would fall from her pants, and there were rips and stains on her shirt.

  “What in the hell happened to you?” he asked. “You’re toting enough dirt on you to start a garden.”

  She gave him a lopsided smile. “Had a little problem fording a river.”

  Matthew scowled at Victoria. “Wouldn’t have had a problem if someone could follow orders.”

  “You don’t get to order me around, Matthew Riley. I’m your boss.”

  “Boss? Boss?” He narrowed his eyes. “Adam’s my boss. All you are is a pain in my ass.”

  Yep. Things definitely hadn’t gone well.

  Sad to say, it appeared as if the relationship was even worse than the sorry state it had been in before the couple left.

  Adam gave his neck a frustrated rub and diverted the topic. “Thought you’d both like to know that Grace accepted my proposal. We’re to be married in two days.”

  “Oh, Daddy! How wonderful!” Victoria gave her father a quick kiss on the cheek before leading her mare into the barn.

  Matthew’s
eyes followed her.

  Adam had to clear his throat twice to get the cowboy’s attention. “Hope you don’t mind my being part of your family.”

  Jerking off his glove, Matthew extended his hand. “Mighty pleased for you both. Gotta admit, I never thought Grace would take a husband. Glad to see you changed her mind.”

  Adam shook his hand. “Well…let’s just say it wasn’t easy, but I think she sees the wisdom of it now.” He leveled a hard stare. “Is there anything I should know before I bring her back here? We’re mighty isolated, and I’d hate to find out too late that Grace has some problems that could follow her to my front door.”

  The man thought the question over for long enough to raise Adam’s concern. “No,” Matthew finally answered. “I’m pretty sure the only problem Grace had is dead and gone.”

  “Nice to know.” A nod at the barn. “What exactly happened out there? She’s spittin’ mad at you. Don’t need to go load my shotgun, do I?”

  Matthew’s lips thinned into a hard line. “No, sir. No shotgun. Hell, she probably wouldn’t have me even if you pointed it at her.”

  “Sounds bad.”

  “It was.”

  “I’m heading into town to see Grace. Care to join me and fill me in on the details?”

  With a chuckle, Matthew brushed the dried mud from his thighs. “I think I need a swim in the lake first. Why don’t you head on into town and I’ll join you later?”

  ***

  Victoria sank deeper into the tub, leaning her head back against a rolled up towel and closing her eyes. A contented sigh fell from her lips. There was nothing she enjoyed more than a soak in her tub.

  Would she ever be clean again? As she scrubbed herself from head to toe, she found mud behind her ears, underneath her fingernails, and even between her toes. Now that her skin and hair were clean, she indulged herself in a good, long soak—and a good, long sulk.

  Her father was taking Grace as a wife.

  About time he moved on with his life.

  Victoria missed her mother, sometimes enough to bring tears, but her father needed Grace in his life. She’d feared he’d die of his grief after her mother passed.

  It was easy to see Grace held his heart in the palms of her slender hands from the moment she’d collapsed on the doorstep. Thank the good Lord, she hadn’t led Adam on a merry chase to win her. Grace obviously loved him as much as he loved her.

  A frown bowed Victoria’s lips. When Grace came to live at Twin Springs, things would change. While Daisy often needed a hand in the kitchen and with chores, Grace handled things with no trouble at all. Daisy had already wired a message that she was staying with her sister for quite a while to help care for her brood of nieces and nephews. When Grace came back to the ranch, Victoria would be as necessary as a fifth wagon wheel.

  Lord above, how she hated thinking that she’d be in the way. Newlyweds—even older ones—didn’t need someone constantly underfoot. They would probably try to include her in things they’d rather do alone, which would add to her burden of guilt.

  Not only would she be entirely in the way, but Matthew would be leaving. What need did a ranch have for a cowboy with only a dozen or so horses and no cattle? Ty would stay on because he was like a son to her father. Adam had already deeded him a parcel of land he could use to build a home when he was ready to take a wife. Ty still fit in here.

  Only Victoria was in the way.

  Matthew would head out of a small town like White Pines just as soon as his sister was married and settled. When he rode out for some new cattle drive, he’d be dragging Victoria’s battered heart with him and probably never even know it.

  Why couldn’t he want her? Yes, his body lusted after her, but only because she’d been a warm and willing woman. Why couldn’t he want her as his own? As a wife and companion? As a mother to his children?

  Probably because he loved his life exactly the way it was.

  “Settling a cowboy down is like trying to hold a tornado with a lasso,” her father always said.

  Matthew didn’t want her. He’d pushed her away like a leper. That wound to her pride still stung. When he left, she’d stay behind, mourning what could have been the rest of her life.

  If only she had someplace else to go. Perhaps her father would let her travel back East, someplace like New York City. Maybe she would get on a big ship and sail to England. As if those bustling locales would make her heartache disappear… She was fairly certain her father wouldn’t let her leave with no real purpose for the trek.

  New York wasn’t for her. Neither was England. And the ranch would be Grace’s home after the marriage.

  Victoria didn’t truly belong anywhere now.

  I want to run away!

  Bad idea. Her father would simply chase her down. No, if she was going to escape, she needed a damned good reason.

  She’d keep her eyes and ears open for the right opportunity. A teaching position in another town. A rich family who needed a governess. Anything that would save her from living a lonely life in White Pines.

  ***

  Matthew dove below the surface, rinsing the rest of the soap from his body and hair. Took a lot of scrubbing to get the mud off.

  Was Victoria having the same problem as she sat in her fancy bathtub? Naked.

  Despite the chill of the water, his cock swelled just thinking of how beautiful she was—of how close he’d come to possessing her.

  No more of that.

  His thoughts betrayed him at every turn. Try as he might, he simply couldn’t banish Victoria from his mind.

  How easy it would have been to take her there by the water. She’d been willing. He’d been drowning in his desire for her. His pride wouldn’t allow it. He couldn’t live with himself if they had to use her money to live, and he sure couldn’t support her in the lifestyle she was accustomed to.

  Until he had something more to offer her—a home and enough money to keep food on the table—he didn’t deserve her. Taking her virginity would have robbed her of the chance to make a good marriage.

  His blood boiled when he pictured her with another man. There was no way he could stay in town to watch her marry, have children, and find happiness with someone else.

  As soon as Grace and Adam tied the knot, it would be time to go. There were more long drives to work, and perhaps he’d take half the money he and Grace had saved and search for a spot somewhere he could own. If that time came, he would come back for Victoria—as if a woman that beautiful and that wealthy would be able to keep men at bay long enough to wait for some miracle that might never happen. It seemed unbelievable that she hadn’t already been claimed.

  Hauling himself out of the lake, Matthew rubbed his body dry, dropped the towel, and jerked on his clean clothes. As soon as he could get Sin saddled, he would head into White Pines to see Grace at the Four Aces.

  And while he was there, he could use a good, stiff drink or two.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Jake was tending bar when Matthew walked through the front doors. He waved, so Matthew headed that direction, leaned against the bar, and dropped his hat on the surface.

  “What’s your poison?” Jake asked.

  “Beer.”

  Matthew sat back nursing his drink and watching Jake.

  The guy had a relaxed way of dealing with the patrons, and they obviously appreciated his wit and good nature. The family resemblance was there, especially when he smiled. He had Grace’s eyes and mouth.

  After Matthew finished his drink, Jake offered a refill. Instead of walking away to tend other customers, he stared at the stairs leading to the upstairs bedrooms. “What’s Grace’s story?”

  “Story?”

  “She’s…different. Kinda timid. Why ain’t she got a husband already? What with her looks and all. Figured men would be sniffing after her skirts from the time she was first becoming a woman.”

  He wasn’t sure exactly what Jake was asking and how much Grace really wanted people to know. Honesty was
the best policy. “She didn’t want a husband.”

  Jake let out a chuckle. “If I was a woman, can’t say I’d want one, neither. She’s nice looking, though. And the way she cooks? Hard to believe someone didn’t grab her up anyway. You thinkin’ of staying on here after she and Adam get hitched?”

  “Haven’t decided yet.”

  Jake took the curt response in stride and went back to waiting on other customers.

  What exactly was Matthew supposed to do when Grace and Adam wed? With the changes Adam had made at the ranch, he wouldn’t be needed any longer—especially when it was obvious that Ty would stay on. If Adam expanded his horse breeding plans, there might someday be a call for two ranch hands, but as things stood, the place only needed one. He wasn’t about to let Adam keep him on the payroll just because of Grace. His pride wouldn’t allow it.

  After Matthew drained his beer, Jake looked down the bar and raised an eyebrow.

  Matthew gestured for a refill.

  Draining that glass in short order, he thought about Victoria and generally felt sorry for himself. After he left the ranch, he wouldn’t be seeing her again unless he traveled back to Montana to visit Grace. He didn’t anticipate making that kind of trek often. His sister was going to be a married woman, and she didn’t need her bachelor brother constantly underfoot. He’d probably go back to the life he knew best—being a cowboy.

  Any return trip he made to Twin Springs to visit was sure to include Victoria. Perhaps Victoria’s beau. Or worse, a husband. Children that belonged to another man, a man who would have the right to put his hands on her whenever he wanted.

  Matthew gulped the remainder of his beer, slammed the mug on the counter ,and gestured to Jake.

  “More beer?”

  “No. Whiskey.”

  ***