Saving Grace (Safe Havens) Read online

  Her heart ached, and she wanted to throw herself into Jake’s arms and beg his forgiveness. His cool aloofness felt like a slap across the face.

  How was she ever going to make amends if he never let her have a chance to explain? Couldn’t he at least try to see why she’d made that difficult and heart-rending choice so long ago?

  Who was she trying to fool? How could Jake possibly forgive her for all the wrong she’d done him in his short life?

  Adam wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulder just as the gray clouds began to leak a drizzling rain. “We need to get Jake on the train and get you out of this weather.” He offered his right hand to Jake.

  After the men said their farewells, Grace laid a gentle hand on Jake’s arm and murmured a wish for a safe journey.

  When he frowned and pulled away, his shun reached all the way to her soul.

  Fighting the need to weep, she released a shuddering sigh and kept as much control over her tumbling emotions as she could. “Please tell Matthew and Victoria we’ll be back soon. God be with you.”

  Jake nodded, grabbed his satchel, and boarded the train.

  Watching Grace suffer such heartache was almost more than Adam could bear. While he wished he could make everything better for her and take away all her pain, he knew that to heal her heart, she would need time.

  Jake would need time as well. Time to come to terms with what he learned about his lineage. Time to figure out just what his mother had done—how much she’d sacrificed to try to give him a good life.

  He’d shared a short talk with Jake about the ramifications of being a Shay and of what that meant to him and Grace. Since the only people who knew the truth were family, Jake asked for time to consider whether he would do anything with the news. While he could find himself with money and connections he’d never dreamed of, he could also learn with money and connections came trouble. The choice would have to be his to make once he came to terms with what he’d learned.

  Grace turned to walk away, still looking far too fragile. The woman had been through so much, and now she needed some peace and some rest, especially since she was expecting.

  “I want to go home, Adam,” she whispered.

  “Just as soon as you’re well enough to travel, Gracie.”

  Not that he would tell her the sheriff still hadn’t given them permission to leave.

  The Shay family had a dead son, and despite how Stephen had been ostracized for his obvious bouts of insanity, they still wanted someone to pay.

  Adam had every intention of making sure that someone wasn’t his wife.

  “Soon, darlin’.”

  A promise. A vow. Stephen Shay was dead, and Grace’s life was now her own.

  He’d see to it that her future dawned bright as a rising sun.

  Chapter Thirty

  The cake had to be perfect—at least that was what Grace told herself to keep her troubled thoughts at bay.

  Cooking occupied her nervous hands, and she threw herself into finishing Matthew and Victoria’s wedding cake and preparing a nice meal for after the ceremony, which would be held at the Twin Springs.

  Victoria was in town with Emily helping her finish the alterations to Grace’s pink wedding dress. Flattered that her stepdaughter wanted to wear it, she promised to make sure the wedding guests had a feast.

  She wished Emily had come here instead so she could see Beth, but traveling with an infant was difficult. Her heart ached to hold her granddaughter in her arms, and she tried to banish thoughts that Jake wanted to keep Beth from her. At least he would bring his family to the wedding, and she prayed some of the shock would have worn off and he would speak to her.

  Setting the eggs aside, she blended the butter and sugar and let the incessant, scolding monologue in her head turn her feelings sour. Had it not been for the baby she carried, she’d probably do nothing more than sit in a chair and stare out the window. She couldn’t concentrate on any of the books she tried to read. Food tasted like sawdust. Adam had to all but force her eat. She found herself alone far too often with her own troubling thoughts.

  Why didn’t I find the courage to keep Jake?

  How could I just blurt out the truth?

  Will he ever find it in his heart to forgive me?

  Grace picked up the first egg and slammed it against the rim of the bowl with none of her usual finesse. Pieces of the shattered shell fell into the batter and sticky egg whites clung to the edge.

  Disgusted with herself for her lack of control, she picked the shell out of the batter and grabbed the next egg. Just as she picked it up, the kitchen door opened, forcing a startle that made her drop the egg.

  Adam looked at her, glanced down at the broken egg, and then grinned. “You missed the bowl, darlin’.”

  He’d been trying for days to coax her out of her melancholy. God love him, he gave her a safe harbor in the storm that had been her life. She wished she could chuckle at his teasing, but joy never came.

  “It’s broken,” she said, fighting the strong emotions bubbling to the surface.

  “It’s just an egg.”

  “I can’t fix it.” Just like she couldn’t fix anything else in her life. That egg sitting in a mess on the wooden floor became a symbol of all that was wrong. “I can’t ever fix it.”

  “Gracie?”

  The hurt rose to the surface.

  Swiftly on its heels came anger.

  With a scream, she picked up another egg, turned, and hurled it at the wall. But that didn’t make her feel any better. So she picked the bowl of batter and flung it. The ceramic shattered against the hard wood, splattering the wall, window, and door with the yellow sticky mess.

  “It’s not fair!”

  She’d done what she thought was right. She’d tried to give Jake a home—a real home instead of a life bouncing his childhood away in a bumpy, hot, and dirty wagon. She shouldn’t have to pay such a steep price.

  Closing her eyes, she reared her head back and let out a scream.

  Suddenly, another egg was placed in her hand as Adam’s fingers closed around hers. He eased away and nodded at the messy wall.

  “It’s not fair!” She launched the egg.

  Just as soon as it was released, Adam put another in her hand. It joined the other the broken eggs, shattering against the wall.

  “I did the best I could!” Instead of an egg, she found the cool surface of a plate against her palm. She gripped the plate with both hands, lifted it over her head, and then smashed it to the floor.

  Adam calmly handed his wife another plate, relieved to finally see a crack in the wall of painful silence that had surrounded her since the kidnapping. Watching her struggle through the days had been agony, and unless she found a way to accept all that had happened, she would never put it behind her.

  The scene at the Four Aces played in his mind, the time when Grace had understood Jake’s pain from never forgiving himself for what he thought was his part in his parents’ deaths. It was clear she’d never given herself any forgiveness for giving him up for adoption.

  After the sixth plate, she regained some control. As he handed her another plate, she shook her head and collapsed onto the bench, breathing hard. A tear traced a wet path down her cheek.

  He sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

  She surrendered against him, laying her head against his chest.

  He kissed the top of her head.

  Her hands reached up to tuck her hair behind her ears. More of it was down than up, and he didn’t think this was the proper time to tell her she had cake batter and egg on her face.

  Adam grabbed the dish cloth, then he put a gentle finger under Grace’s chin. As she looked up at him, he tenderly wiped her face clean. “He’ll come ’round, Gracie.”

  “Never,” she whispered. “He’ll never change his mind about me.”

  He leaned in until their foreheads touched. “Take it one day at a time, darlin’. It’s like planting a seed in the spring
. If you stare at it all day and night, it’ll never sprout. Stop watching for a change and just…live. Time has a way of healing all wounds—even those on the heart.”

  Grace’s gaze wandered the kitchen. “Look at the mess I made. People will be here tomorrow for the wedding. I can’t let them see this.”

  “I’ll clean up.”

  “I still need to make a cake.”

  “I’ll help with that, too.” He smiled. “Got a surprise coming in for you on the morning stage.”

  “A surprise?” His announcement cleared the lingering sadness from her beautiful face. “For me?”

  “You won’t be alone here anymore.”

  “But I’m not alone—I have you.”

  “And right after the wedding, you’ll have Daisy, too.”

  A smile spread across her lips. “Daisy’s coming back?”

  He nodded. “You’ve spent your whole life taking care of people. Now you’re gonna let us take care of you and the baby.”

  Grace suddenly looked…hurt. “You don’t want me to cook for you anymore?”

  “Oh, darlin’. Of course, I want you to cook. As Matthew always says, you could make a feast out of shoe leather. What I want is for you to cook when you want to. You’ve earned the right to relax. To read if you’d like. To take a nap when you want to.” His hand caressed her gently-rounding stomach. “With a child on the way, you’ll need more rest. Daisy will be here to help any way she can.”

  Threading her hands around his neck, she kissed him. “I’m married to a very thoughtful man. Thank you, Adam.”

  “I’ve a notion to let my wife show me how grateful she is.” He scooped her into his arms. “Cake later. Husband now.”

  ***

  It was a beautiful day for a wedding. The sun shone bright and clear. Summer flowers bloomed. An early morning rain had given the air a scrubbing, making everything fresh and clean.

  Victoria smoothed her hands down her pink skirt and tried not to be nervous. Most new brides probably feared the wedding night. That certainly wasn’t a problem, not since Matthew had introduced her to the joys found when a man and woman made love. Her nerves were on edge for her family.

  Grace’s sadness seemed to be lifting, but there was still much to resolve between her and Jake. A wedding was supposed to be a time of celebration, not to have family members stare at each other in sullen silence as she feared they might. Having Daisy arrive this morning had been a welcome surprise, and Victoria hoped the woman’s eternally cheerful mood would bring some spark to the festivities.

  A knock on her door drew her back to the present. “Who is it?”

  “Grace.”

  She hurried to the door to let her in. “I thought Daddy might be coming up to get me for the ceremony.”

  “He’s downstairs, talking to the reverend and keeping Matthew busy.” Grace’s smile was a ray of sunshine that Victoria was grateful to see. “My brother seemed intent upon wearing out the soles of his new shoes pacing around.”

  “He’s nervous?”

  A reassuring hand touched her shoulder. “Not about the marriage. I believe he muttered something about marrying you before you came to your senses.” Grace turned Victoria so they were both reflected in the mirror. “You look lovely.”

  “Thank you.” Victoria ran her fingertips along her crown of flowers.

  Grace kissed her cheek. “I know your mother would be proud.”

  Closing her eyes, Victoria tried to picture Clara Morgan smiling down on her. Would her mother be shocked that she’d shared a bed with Matthew before they spoke vows?

  Shared a bed?

  More like tore each other’s clothes off in their haste.

  In her heart, Victoria believed that Clara might not have approved but would’ve understood the love she and Matthew shared.

  Another knock sounded. “Princess?” Adam called. “You ready?”

  Grace answered the door, whispered a few words to him, and left.

  The proud look in her father’s eyes as his gaze swept her from head to foot made tears sting Victoria’s eyes. “You look so much like your mother.”

  All she could do was offer was a tight-lipped nod or else she’d start weeping.

  He held his elbow out in invitation. “Time to take you to your groom.”

  As he led her downstairs, she took a deep breath to steady herself. Feelings flew through her, twinkling like fireflies in the night sky. The people she loved stood gathered in a semi-circle around Reverend David and Matthew.

  How handsome her groom was in his new clothes. She caught the quick roll of his healing shoulder. The wound had closed quickly and hadn’t become infected, so the time had come to let that worry go. Matthew was hale and hearty.

  And he would soon be hers.

  Her father had offered to loan him some Sunday attire, but Matthew was gifted with his finery by Miss Alma and Miss Hila when he’d rescued the elderly ladies’ cat from where it had perched itself in an exceptionally tall tree. They’d been so grateful, they insisted upon rewarding him with something, and since what they did best—besides gossip—was sew, they made his wedding clothes.

  Adam laid his hand over Victoria’s. He gave her a few affectionate pats. “You ready?”

  She favored him with a nervous smile. “Will I make him happy, Daddy? I’m afraid I won’t be a good wife…”

  “Oh, Victoria. How could you think you’d ever fail at anything? Your heart’s as big as this territory.” He brushed a kiss on her cheek. “You’ll make him happy.”

  She released the breath been holding as she nodded her gratitude for his kind and reassuring words. “I’m ready now.”

  He escorted her to stand before the reverend as Matthew stepped up to her right side.

  Reverend David gave them all a big grin and opened his well-worn book. “Dearly beloved...”

  ***

  The ceremony seemed to pass in a blur for Matthew.

  From the moment he’d seen Victoria coming down the stairs—dressed in Grace’s pink wedding dress, her dark hair crowned in flowers—he’d felt like the luckiest man on the face of the earth.

  He made all the right promises and said all the right words. The vows were important and he meant to hold himself to each and every one, but he couldn’t concentrate on anything except the beautiful creature standing at his side—binding herself to him for the rest of their days.

  Damn, but he was blessed.

  He noticed everything about her. The teardrop pearls dangling from her earlobes. How slim and white her fingers looked when twined with his tanned and calloused ones. The light blush staining her cheeks. The smell of roses that seemed to be her very essence.

  Oh, yes indeed, he was blessed.

  Lost in his thoughts, it took a moment for him to focus on what the reverend was saying. “I’m sorry…I…”

  Reverend David grinned. “You may kiss your bride.”

  As Victoria lifted her arms around his neck, Matthew wrapped his arms around her and settled his mouth on hers. So sweet, so soft, and full of promise of more to come.

  He suddenly wished Grace hadn’t gone to the trouble of making a meal for everyone.

  All he wanted to do was take Victoria back to town, to their new home.

  ***

  “Grace?”

  She glanced up from cutting pieces of cake.

  Jake stood by her side. Words stuck in her throat, wanting to spill out in a tangle of emotion that would probably make no sense to her son. She chose to nod and tried to paste a smile on her face.

  “You feelin’ better now? I…” Jake looked down at his daughter, then turned his eyes—the ones so much like her own—back to Grace. “I was…worried about you.”

  “You were?”

  He nodded. “You’re carrying, and things were so bad in San Francisco… Glad that business is over. Just wanted to make sure you’re well.” The man actually blushed. This clearly wasn’t easy on him.

  Jake taking the first important s
tep lifted the heavy weight from her heart. “I’m very well. Adam takes very good care of me.” A smile toward Daisy at a table, where she fussed over Victoria and Matthew. “Now that Daisy’s back, I doubt he’ll let me lift a finger around the ranch.”

  “I’ve been meaning to talk to you. ’Bout Stephen Shay.”

  Grace held her breath.

  His mouth bowed to a frown. “You don’t hate me ’cause of him, do you?”

  The serving knife clattered when it fell to the floor. “Hate you? Why would I hate you?”

  “Figured you see him every time you see me—that I’m a bad reminder.”

  “Oh, Jake. You’re not a reminder of him. You’re my son.”

  “Yeah, but—”

  “I only see you, honey. Just you.”

  He scuffed the toe of his boot against the hardwood floor. “I–I wanted to thank you for all you did for me. For takin’ care of me, even with you bein’ so young and all. Took guts. ’Specially after what he did to you.”

  “You’re thanking me?” Tears welled in her eyes as she stooped to retrieve the cake knife.

  As she rose, his strong hand settled on her shoulders. “Of course I’m thanking you. If you hadn’t done what you did, I’d have spent my life with that snake.”

  The Shays could never know about Jake. “You won’t go to them, will you? I mean, all that money…”

  “No, ma’am. Don’t want nothin’ from ’em.” He glanced back at Emily, who ate another forkful of cake as she listened intently to whatever Miss Alma was saying. “Wouldn’t dream of putting Em or Beth in harm’s way.”

  Relief flooded through her.

  “Figured you might wanna hold Beth—I mean, you might wanna hold your granddaughter.”

  The subject was clearly closed for now. Knowing how hard it must have been for a quiet man like Jake to say all he did, Grace didn’t push him. She nodded, knowing that if she tried to say even one word, she would burst into happy tears. Trying to keep her hands busy, she wiped the knife clean on a towel.